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  • Rosie Iles-Jonas

Eye contact

Eye contact is a much neglected means of connection. Babies make eye contact because it's hard to be cruel to another being when they're looking into your eyes. Which is particularly interesting when we think about how mean communication (not ours, we're yogis and always kind and compassionate) can be online, when we're not looking at another person, just typing or recording...


 

There's a high profile defamation trial in America at the moment. One thing that has been relevant to us (still doesn't justify how many hours of my life I've wasted watching the live stream) is; when the relationship broke down, one person told the other you'll never see my eyes again. What's that about (generally, not in the context of this situation)? Eyes are a window to the heart and soul, so is that an act to end to that connection? To refuse to look at someone can be a sign of deference, subservience, shyness, shame, disgust (I can't look at your right now) or cruelty as it's quite dehumanising.

By contrast, to look at someone is to give them your focus and attention... which feels amazing! To make eye contact is a mutual decision to connect and be a little vulnerable, you're seeing a part of their soul whilst they get a glimpse of yours. It's lovely. Eye contact is a sign of confidence, improves communication, is in itself a form of communication (wink) and improves our ability to relate to one another.




As you arrive in class tonight, go ahead and practice some eye contact with me, and each other. Explore your relationship to meeting another person's eye. It can feel weird... and that's really weird... because we're wired to seek out eyes. Eye contact promotes a parasympathetic response through the body, so you and they, will feel better for it.


I'm looking forward to seeing you in class tonight.